2 thoughts on “Higher Persuasive Writing

  1. The Deserted House

    The house on the hill was dark in shadow. John had been walking for two hours through heavy rain. John approached the wrecked door, he was cold and wet. His hands shaking he slowly reached for the handle and opened the door. John stepped inside the pitch black house, he withdrew a candle from his bag and lit it with his lighter. Once he had a quick scan over the walls he found a light switch, he flicked the switch on and then blew out the candle.
    He ran backwards onto a cobweb when he heard the door thud shut. He saw some old wooden stairs which led him into a corridor. The corridor was damp and mouldy! The wallpaper was hanging off the walls. There were some doors open and others closed with a padlock. John went into the first door he looked around and saw that everything had dust on it. Occasionally you saw the odd cobweb! Leaves were blown all over the floor, there were paw prints going over things and the smell of animal droppings.
    He exited the room and went down the stairs to find some food as he was starving from walking. He found the kitchen and looked in the cupboards he found a cake and devoured it in two second flat.
    After he went up some more wooden stairs, they led him into a massive room, which had a water bed some leaves scattered across the floor and wallpaper that looked like it was just about to fall off! When he walked in further he smelt a rotting smell almost as if something or someone died. He looked around and found dead animals with flys all over the body. John started boking at the sight and smell of the animals so he ran back down the stairs and found himself in a small dark room.
    The room was pitch black but once John fumbled around to find his candle and lit it he saw a door with a padlock on it. He was curious to find out what was inside this room. He looked around and found a key! He unlocked the door and shone the light into the room all he could see was some blood up the wall! He turned around wanting to get out but just as he was about to go the door slammed shut!
    He was terrified to what might happen next so with all his might he kicked the door and it flew open! He ran out and kept on running till he came to the front door. he opened it and threw his bag off. He didn’t stop until the house was somewhere in the distance.
    John eventually came up to his house running to his door with a shaky hand he opened it. He ran upstairs to his room and went to bed. When he woke up he thought it was all just a dream

    mw

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  2. The JCB Song
    The JCB song tells the story of a male person looking back on his childhood, and the good times that he spent with his Dad.

    Well I'm rumbling in this JCB,
    I'm 5 years old and my dad's a giant,
    Sitting beside me,
    And the engine rattles my bum like bazzerk,
    While we're singing,
    Don't forget your shovel if you want to go to work.
    And my dad's probably had a bloody hard day,
    But he's been good fun and bubblin and joking away,
    And the procession of cars stuck behind,
    Are getting more impatient and angry but we don't mind.

    And we're holding up the bypass,
    Oh-oh,
    We and my dad havin' a top laugh
    Oh-oh-oh,
    And I'm sitting on the tool box,
    Oh-oh,
    And I'm so glad I'm not in school boss,
    So glad I'm not in school,
    Oh no-oo.

    And we pull over to let cars past,
    And pull off again speeding by this summer green grass,
    And we're like giants up here in our big yello digger,
    Like zoids or transformers or maybe even bigger,
    I wanna transform into a Tyrannosaurus Rex,
    And eat up all the bullies and the teachers and their pets,
    And I'll tell all my mates,
    My dad's B.A.Baracus,
    Only with a JCB, and Bruce Lee's numchuckers…

    Said I'm Luke I'm 5 and my dad's Bruce Lee,
    Drives me around in his JCB,
    I'm Luke I'm 5 and my dad's Bruce Lee,
    Drives me around in his JCB,
    I'm Luke I'm 5 and my dad's Bruce Lee,
    Drives me around in his JCB,
    I'm Luke I'm 5 and my dad's Bruce Lee,
    Drives me around-

    And we're holding up the bypass,

    In the song, two examples of colloquial language are: -“A bloody hard day!” -“The engine rattles my bum like berserk.”

    Two metaphors in the song are; “My Dad’s B.A. Baraccus” “My Dad’s Bruce lee”. These show how great the boy feels about his Dad.

    Onomatopoeia also appears twice in the song: “Rattles my bum”, and “rumblin’ n this JCB”

    There are two indirect references (allusions) in the song: “Zoids”, and “Transformers.”

    Two similes appear in the song:
    “Like giants”
    “Like Zoids”

    An example of contrast in the song is the way that the boy talks about his Dad and the JCB using words such as “Zoids”, or any other cool thing, but when he talks about anyone else, he mentions the teachers or their pets. Another allusion is that the boy says that he is having a “top laugh” with his Dad, but school is the complete opposite.

    Two images in the song are:
    “The summer green grass”,
    “Bubblin’ and joking away”.
    They both suggest that the boy is having a great time, and that everything is perfect.

    The poet feels ‘over the moon’ at being on the JCB with his Dad. We can tell this because the poet refers to the JCB several times:
    “The engines rattle my bum like berserk”
    “procession of cars stuck behind are getting’ all impatient and angry, but we don’t mind”
    “We’re like giants up here”

    The tone of the poet’s voice when reading the song would be excited, happy, joyful, content, delighted, poignant…

    All in all, the fact that the boy feels proud of himself to be with his father in the JCB is expressed wonderfully in this poignant and melancholic piece of writing.

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