There MUST be a difficult situation that a character has to overcome.
What is this conflict in the story?
Where does it come from?
The following is a sample of description used in the story. Why is it effective?
Comment on atmosphere, tension, word choices and metaphors. What effects does each of them create?
“There was a bracket (lamp) on the wall to his left between his own door and the next and he moved with care towards it, yearning for light. He had the matches in his hand and was reaching for the tap (of the gas lamp), when the door of his own room slammed and the landing was plunged into darkness. He cried out, turning his head instinctively towards the thin glow from the stairwell and as he watched it dimmed, shrinking to a bluish flicker. In the breathless silence he could hear the multiple popping of the starved flame. Then light was extinct save for a thin wedge that showed under his door, illuminating nothing.
He pushed out the tray of his matchbox, felt for a match and slashed it wildly along the box. It flared and he twisted the tap. It would not move. He could feel the flakes of rust under his thumb. The flame licked his finger and he flung the match from him with a curse. He crouched under the dead bracket (lamp), breathing hard. The whole house seemed alive with small movements, with things flitting furtively from shadow to shadow. The spiders of fear hung the vault above his head with their web.”